Grab your coffee, maybe a cozy blanket, and definitely silence those notifications, because we're about to go deep—even deeper than last month.

I’ll be designating two days out of the week for this purpose. So, you can look forward to that! If you want to see any past fight club posts, check out the team tab in the navigation menu.

Today, we got real about the journey of building your tribe, especially when you feel like you’re starting from scratch. We talked about how essential those female connections are.

But here’s the truth: finding your tribe is only half the battle.

Keeping them, and making those connections truly meaningful, requires something much harder: vulnerability.

For this month’s installment, we’re diving into The Power of Vulnerability: Dropping the Mask to Find Your True Tribe.

This is the hardest part, but I promise you, it is the most rewarding.

Let’s talk about the armor. We are conditioned from a young age to wear it. It’s the "I’m fine" mask we put on when we’re secretly drowning. It’s the perfectionist mask that makes us look like we have it all together, even when our life is held together by dry shampoo and sheer panic. It’s the strong, independent woman who needs no one, who never asks for help, and who always has the perfect answer.

This armor is a survival mechanism. It protects us from judgment, from rejection, and from the terrifying possibility of being seen as "too much" or "not enough." We curate our lives for the highlight reel, showing the world the perfect outfit, the successful career move, the flawless family photo. But behind the scenes, where real life happens, we are isolated.

This creates a painful paradox: we crave deep, soul-level connection, but we fear the exposure that makes it possible. We want a tribe that sees us, but we only show them a polished version of ourselves. We’re standing in the ring of our Fight Club, but we refuse to take off our helmets.

True connection, the kind that makes you feel safe and seen, only happens when the armor comes off. It’s not about being weak; it’s about being brave enough to be real.

Bestie, this is the part where I get honest about my own armor. For years, I thought being strong meant being impenetrable. I’m sharing a story about the moment I finally chose to drop the mask, and how it changed everything.

My first panic attack happened in 2017. I remember it feeling so real. My thoughts had become stronger than anything in my life. This was mostly the case due to unhealthy habits. I was living a double life. Wild and free the first half of the year. Reserved and the best daughter during the second half.

My parents knew nothing about my other life, I think. I tried my best to keep my life away from home private and separate. I mean, who wants their parents to find out about their daughter doing things they wouldn’t be happy about?

I would post pictures of the parental safe parts of the event, the day, and my life. I was curating a life that was only half-true, and the effort of maintaining that facade was exhausting. The panic attack was my body’s way of screaming that the armor was too heavy. The pressure of keeping those two worlds separate—the "wild and free" me and the "best daughter" me—finally became too much.

It was in that moment of absolute terror and breakdown that I realized the only way out was to let someone in. I had to choose vulnerability over the comfortable, but suffocating, mask of perfection. It wasn't a friend I turned to first, but the realization was the same: The double life was the armor, and the panic attack was the chink in it.

I’m still on the journey of letting people see the whole me, but that moment was the turning point. It taught me that the true fight isn't against the world; it's against the fear of being seen. And the only way to win is to drop the mask and live the life that gives people the BEST version of you.

So, what’s the moral of the story, sis? The panic attack was a wake-up call that the armor was too heavy. You can’t have a deep tribe if you’re only showing them the surface. Vulnerability is the key to unlocking the kind of friendships that last through the storms. It’s the secret handshake of the true Fight Club.

Here are the unwritten rules of practicing vulnerability safely and effectively:

Vulnerability is the only way to move past the surface-level connections and into the deep, life-sustaining friendships we all crave. It’s how we transform our tribe into our true Fight Club.

Now that we’ve had this heart-to-heart, I have a little piece of homework for you. It’s simple, but powerful.

Take one small, vulnerable step this month. Choose one person you trust—a friend, a partner, or even a mentor—and share one thing you’ve been hiding or struggling with. Don't ask for advice; just share the truth of where you are. See what happens when you let your guard down.

Go be brave, bestie. Your true tribe is waiting for the real you.

See you next month for another round in the Fight Club 4 Women. Until then, stay strong, stay stylish, and keep shedding that armor.