Grab your coffee, maybe a cozy blanket, and definitely silence those notifications, because we're about to talk about the prettiest lie we tell ourselves.

We’ve talked about building your tribe and the bravery of vulnerability. Now, we’re tackling the silent killer of dreams, the thing that keeps us stuck in the starting blocks: perfectionism.

In this newsletter post, we’re ripping off the label that says "Perfect" and embracing the chaos of The Messy Middle.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there. We call ourselves "detail-oriented" or say we have "high standards," but deep down, we know the truth: Perfectionism isn't about high standards; it's about avoiding the judgment that comes with being imperfect.

It’s a defense mechanism, a beautiful, tailored suit of armor that keeps us safe from criticism. We fall into the "All or Nothing" mentality. If we can't do it flawlessly, we won't do it at all. We spend weeks polishing the first paragraph of a project, terrified of the ugly first draft. We put off launching the business, applying for the job, or even sending the email because it’s not "ready."

Perfectionism is just fear in a cute outfit. It’s the fear of failure, the fear of being exposed as a fraud, the fear that if we put our true, unpolished work out there, we will be rejected. And so, we stay stagnant, polishing the same tiny corner of our lives while the rest of the world moves on.

But here’s the secret: The most important part of any journey is the unglamorous, unpolished middle. That’s where the real work happens. That’s where the growth is. And that’s where we need to permit ourselves to be messy.

Bestie, this is the part where I confess my own struggle with the 'Perfect' label. I’m sharing a story about a time I let the fear of not being flawless keep me stuck, and the moment I finally chose progress over paralysis.

The perfectionism I’m talking about isn’t just about a perfectly formatted document; it’s about the perfectly formatted life. I’m in my 30s, and often I feel like I am not meeting the standard of a typical woman in their 30s. You know the one—the woman who has it all figured out. I hoped to be a first-time home buyer, a mom, a CEO, a something big and shiny, by now. That was the script I wrote for myself, the perfect life I was supposed to be living.

But my life has been a series of unexpected U-turns, stop signs, speed bumps, and car accidents (metaphorically, thank goodness). It’s been messy, unpredictable, and completely off-script. And because of that, I let the perfectionist in me whisper, "You can't start the next thing until you fix the foundation. You can't launch that project until your life looks like the highlight reel."

I was paralyzed. I couldn't fully commit to the amazing things I am doing now—like this newsletter, like my business—because I was constantly comparing my reality to the perfect, imaginary checklist of what a successful woman in her thirties should have achieved. I was letting the fear of not being the "perfect 30-something" stop me from being the actual me, right here, right now.

The turning point wasn't a sudden flash of genius; it was a quiet, exhausted realization. I was tired of living in the waiting room of my own life. I realized that the "messy middle" wasn't a temporary detour; it was the main road. The perfectionist script was just a form of fear—fear that my non-linear path wasn't good enough.

The freedom came when I finally permitted myself to be a woman in her 30s who is still figuring it out. Who doesn't own a house yet? Who is building her empire one messy, imperfect step at a time. I chose to accept my life's current draft—the one with all the typos, the crossed-out chapters, and the unexpected plot twists—and decided to publish it anyway.

Now, I focus on progress, not perfection. I’m trading the pressure of the perfect script for the joy of writing my own story, one messy, beautiful chapter at a time. And that, bestie, is the only standard that matters.

So, what’s the moral of the story, sis? Your worth isn't tied to your flawlessness. The world needs your contribution, not your perfect performance. We need to learn to trade in that cute, suffocating outfit for a comfy pair of sweats and get to work.

Here are the unwritten rules for embracing the messy middle:

Let's stop letting the fear of being imperfect stop us from being impactful.

Now that we’ve had this heart-to-heart, I have a little piece of homework for you. It’s simple, but powerful.

Finish one stalled project this month. Identify one thing you've been procrastinating on because it's not "ready." Give yourself a 30-minute timer to make it 80% done, and then walk away. Hit send. Launch it. Publish it.

Go be brave, bestie. The world needs your work, not your perfection.

See you next month for another round in the Fight Club 4 Women. Until then, stay strong, stay stylish, and embrace the beautiful mess.